Political Jokes



    Here is a free puppy
    The President is running down the street one day, and he sees a little girl who is giving away puppies that her dog just had.

    He goes up to the girl and says, "Little girl, I think that it's wonderful that you're doing such a good thing."

    The little girl says, "Thank you, Mr. President. Would you like a puppy? They're Democrats."

    President declines and jogs onward. The next day President jogs past the same girl and decides to talk to her again. "You know what, little girl? I think I'll take one of those puppies after all, seeing as how they're Democrats."

    The girl says, "I'm sorry Mr. President, but they're not Democrats any more. They're Republican now."

    President says, "They are? How do you know? As a matter of fact, how did you know that they were Democrats at first to begin with?"

    She says, "Well, just after they were born they were Democrats, but now their eyes are open."

    SWITCHING SIDES
    A life long supporter of the labour party was lying on his death bed when he suddenly decided to join the Tory party.

    "But why?" asked his puzzled friend, "You're labour through and through… Why change now?"

    The man learned forward and explained, "Well, I'd rather it was one of them that died and not one of us."

    LESSONS IN LIFE
    DAD - Son, come in here, we need to talk.

    SON - What's up, Dad?

    DAD - There's a scratch down the side of the car. Did you do it?

    SON - I don't believe; if I understand the definition of "scratch the car"; that I can say, truthfully,that I scratched the car.

    DAD - Well, it wasn't there yesterday, and you drove the car last night, and no one else has driven it since. How can you explain the scratch?

    SON - Well, as I've said before, I have no recollection of scratching the car. While it is true that I did take the car out last night, I did not scratch it.

    DAD - But your sister, Monica, has told me she saw you back the car against the mailbox at the end of the driveway, heard a loud scraping sound, saw you get out to examine the car, and then drive away. So again I'll ask you, yes or no, did you scratch the car?

    SON - Oh, you mean you think you have evidence to prove I scratched it. Well, you see, I understood you to mean did "I" scratch the car. I stand by my earlier statement, that I did not scratch the car.

    DAD - Are you trying to tell me you didn't drive the car into the mailbox?




    SON - Well, you see sir, I was trying to drive the car into the street. I mishandled the steering of the car, and it resulted in direct contact with the mailbox, though that was clearly not my intent.

    DAD - So you are then saying that you did hit the mailbox?

    SON - No sir, that's not my statement. I'll refer you back to my original statement that I did not scratch the car.

    DAD - But the car did hit the mailbox, and the car did get scratched as a result of this contact?

    SON - Well, yes, I suppose you could look at it that way.

    DAD - So you lied to me when you said you did not scratch the car?

    SON - No. No, that's not correct. Your question was "Did I scratch the car?" From a strict legal definition, as I understood the meaning of that sentence, I did not scratch the car... the mailbox did... I was merely present when the scratching occurred. So my answer of "No" when you asked "Did I scratch the car" was legally correct, although I did not volunteer information.

    DAD - Where in the heck did you learn to be such a liar?

    SON - From The President of the United States.

    HOME TRUTHS ON AIR FORCE ONE
    Al Gore and the Clintons are flying on Air Force One. Bill looks at Al, chuckles and says, "You know, I could throw a $10,000 bill out the window right now and make one person very happy."

    Al shrugs his stiff shoulders and says, "Well, I could throw ten $1,000 bills out the window and make 10 people very happy".

    Hillary tosses her perfectly sprayed hair and says, "Of course, then, I could throw one-hundred $100 bills out the window and make a hundred people very happy."

    Chelsea rolls her eyes, looks at all of them and says, "I could throw all of you out the window and make the whole country happy."



    POLITICS ON THE FARM
    Two farmers were discussing politics and the first one says: "I believe in a share and share alike policy. One where we are all equal."

    "Well" replied the other farmer "I'm not sure about that. What you mean is that if you have two horses you'd give me one?"

    "Of course" says the first.

    The second farmer continued: "and of you had two cars, you'd give me one of them too?"

    "absolutely"

    "So" says the second farmer, "if you had two pigs then you'd give me one of them?"

    "ah, now hang on a minute" says the first, "you know I've got two pigs!"

    WHILE OUT JOGGING ONE MORNING
    One day George Bush was out jogging and accidentally fell from a ridge into a very cold river. Three boys, playing along the river, saw the accident. Without a second thought, they jumped in the water and dragged the wet president out of the river.

    After cleaning up he said, "Boys, you saved the President of the United States today. You deserve a reward. You name it, I'll give it to you."

    The first boy said, "Please, I'd like a ticket to Disneyland!"

    "I'll personally hand it to you," said Mr. Bush.

    "I'd like a pair of Nike Air Turbos," the second boy said.

    "I'll buy them myself and give them to you," said the grateful Bush.

    "And I'd like a wheelchair with a stereo in it," said the third boy.

    "I'll personally ... wait a second, son, you're not handicapped!"

    "No -- but I will be when my dad finds out I saved you from drowning."



    BRAIN SURGERY
    A man went in for a Brain transplant operation and was offered a choice of two brains by the surgeon. He could choose either the Architect's brain which would cost him £10,000 or the Politician's which was £100,000.

    "Does that mean that the politician's brain is much better than the Architect's?" exclaimed the clearly puzzled man.

    "not exactly" replied the surgeon, "the politician's has never been used."

    WHAT A JOB!
    Can you imagine working at the following Company? It has a little over 500 employees with the following statistics:

    29 have been accused of spouse abuse
    7 have been arrested for fraud
    19 have been accused of writing bad cheques
    117 have bankrupted at least two businesses
    3 have been arrested for assault
    71 cannot get a credit card due to bad credit
    14 have been arrested on drug-related charges
    8 have been arrested for shop-lifting
    21 are current defendants in lawsuits In 1998 alone
    84 were stopped for drunk driving

    Can you guess which organization this is?

    Give up?

    It's the 535 members of the United States Congress. The same group that perpetually cranks out hundreds upon hundreds of new laws designed to keep the rest of us in line.

    Negotiate with the Taliban
    "Barack Obama said he may negotiate with the Taliban. A lot of people are saying okay, but be careful. But I said this guy has experience negotiating with the enemy. For gosh sake, he lives with his mother-in-law, you know." -- David Letterman

    "Republicans are attacking Barack Obama because he now wants to negotiate directly with the Taliban. Obama responded, 'Hey, right now I'd rather deal with the Taliban than with Republicans.'" --Jimmy Fallon

    ? 10 dollar bill, a Bible, and a bottle of whiskey
    An older couple had a son, who was still living at home. The parents were a little worried, as the son was still unable to decide about his future career. They decided to do a small test. They took a 10 dollar bill, a Bible, and a bottle of whiskey, and put them on the front hall table, and hid, pretending they were not home.

    The father's plan was: "If our son takes the money, he will be a businessman, if he takes the Bible, he will be a priest, but if he takes the bottle of whiskey, I'm afraid our son will be a drunkard."

    So, the parents waited nervously, hiding in the nearby closet. Peeping through the keyhole they saw their son arrive. The son saw the note they had left. Then, he took the 10-dollar bill, looked at it against the light, and slid it in his pocket. After that, he took the Bible, flicked through it, and took it.

    Then, he grabbed the bottle, opened it and took a whiff, to get assured of the quality. Then he left for his room, carrying all three items. The father slapped his forehead, and said: HONEY! Our son is going to be a politician."

Political Jokes In Detail

    Politics rule the world with people into endless debates about the events that shape the governments. When humor is blended with politics, you can expect a different flavor altogether. Since years, satires and caricatures have been developed about political figures. Stars and comedians have included skits on politics in their performances. The moment you subscribe to Political Jokes, you will start receiving jokes about the irony of political situations giving you a different approach of how people in key positions behave. The circumstances relate to the current happenings with the heads of states being the targets usually.

    From George Bush to Saddam, Obama to Bin Laden, events in White House to war on terror, you will lose control of yourself once you get subscribed to Political Jokes. For instance, when Bin Laden asks a psychic about his time of death, he replies it will fall on an American Holiday. When he asks when that will be, the psychic replies any day on which he dies will be an American Holiday.

    You are at a disaster struck area. A tornado is on the loose and you see a man about to die. You are a CNN photographer and can either take a wonderful snap of the death of the world’s most powerful man or try to save him. Would you like to go for a color pic or a classic black & white shot? More jokes reflecting your sentiments are waiting for you once you get hooked onto Political Jokes. Scenarios vary from tussles between the Democrats and the Republicans, confessions of politicians with priests, dilemmas of security agencies, American public becoming perplexed while attending election campaigns and the amusing encounters of the US head of state with his counterparts on foreign tours. The wittiness and retorts of individuals will keep you engaged, so be the first one to get yourself subscribed to Political Jokes!

    Politics rule the world with people into endless debates about the events that shape the governments. When humor is blended with politics, you can expect a different flavor altogether. Since years, satires and caricatures have been developed about political figures. Stars and comedians have included skits on politics in their performances. The moment you subscribe to Political Jokes, you will start receiving jokes about the irony of political situations giving you a different approach of how people in key positions behave. The circumstances relate to the current happenings with the heads of states being the targets usually.

    From George Bush to Saddam, Obama to Bin Laden, events in White House to war on terror, you will lose control of yourself once you get subscribed to Political Jokes. For instance, when Bin Laden asks a psychic about his time of death, he replies it will fall on an American Holiday. When he asks when that will be, the psychic replies any day on which he dies will be an American Holiday.

    You are at a disaster struck area. A tornado is on the loose and you see a man named George Bush about to die. You are a CNN photographer and can either take a wonderful snap of the death of the world’s most powerful man or try to save him. Would you like to go for a color pic or a classic black & white shot?
    More jokes reflecting your sentiments are waiting for you once you get hooked onto Political Jokes. Scenarios vary from tussles between the Democrats and the Republicans, confessions of politicians with priests, dilemmas of security agencies, American public becoming perplexed while attending election campaigns and the amusing encounters of the US head of state with his counterparts on foreign tours. The wittiness and retorts of individuals will keep you engaged, so be the first one to get yourself subscribed to Political Jokes!