I have good news and bad news
Patient: I'm in a hospital! Why am I in here?
Doctor: You've had an accident involving a bus.
Patient: What happened?
Doctor: Well, I've got some good news and some bad news. Which would you like to hear first?
Patient: Give me the bad news first.
Doctor: Your legs were injured so badly that we had to amputate both of them.
Patient: That's terrible! What's the good news?
Doctor: There's a guy in the next ward who made a very good offer on your slippers.
Benefits of having Alzheimer's disease
5. You never have to watch reruns on television.
4. You are always meeting new people.
3. You don't have to remember the whines and complaints of your spouse.
2. You can hide your own Easter eggs.
1. Mysteries are always interesting.
Would you please do me a favor?
A dentist, after completing work on a patient, came to him begging.
Dentist: Could you help me? Could you give out a few of your loudest, most painful screams?
Patient: Why? Docor, it wasn't all that bad this time.
Dentist: There are so many people in the waiting room right now, and I don't want to miss the four o'clock ball game.
How much will this cost me?
Patient: How much to have this tooth pulled?
Patient: $100.00 for just a few minutes work?
Dentist: Well, I can extract it very slowly if you like.
Will this operation hurt me at all?
Patient (to cosmetic surgeon): Will it hurt me, doctor?
Surgeon: Only when you get my bill, Mrs Brown.
Can I play the piano once these are off?
A doctor has come to see one of his patients in a hospital. The patient has had major surgery to both of his hands.
"Doctor," says the man excitedly and dramatically holds up his heavily bandaged hands. "Will I be able to play the piano when these bandages come off?"
"I don't see why not," replies the doctor.
"That's funny," says the man. "I wasn't able to play it before."
A doctor is complaining to a mechanic
A doctor is talking to a car mechanic, "Your fee is several times more per hour then we get paid for medical care."
"Yeah, but you see, doc, you have always the same model, it hasn't changed since Adam; but we have to keep up to date with new models coming every month."
Bad temper problem
Patient: Doctor, you must help me. I'm under such a lot of stress, I keep losing my temper with people.
Doctor: Tell me about your problem.
Patient: I just did, didn't I, you stupid fool!!
A very interesting fact
Doctor: Did you know that there are more than 1,000 bones in the human body?
Larry: Shhh, doctor! There are three dogs outside in the waiting room!
Do you have a solution?
A patient came to his dentist with problems with his teeth.
Patient: Doctor, I have yellow teeth, what do I do?
Dentist: Wear a brown tie!
As kids, we had always liked going to meet a doctor. The profession of doctor is one of the highly paid ones in America. We do know the significance of medical experts in our lives as they help us in removing our ailments. Everything has its funny side and when you get subscribed to Doctor Jokes, you will find yourself exposed to the humorous situations that fall in a doctor’s lives. The next time you fall ill, you will learn to laugh at your problem. From fussy doctors to pretty nurses, annoying patients to grumbling receptionists, Doctor Jokes will make you savor different experiences associated with the medical profession.
Doctor Jokes are meant for all seasons. You always thought that doctors are very intelligent. Well, listen to this story. A surgeon tells a patient when he wakes up after an operation that he needs to be operated upon again as he had forgot his rubber gloves inside him. The patient remarks that he would rather pay for them than being touched again J. That shows the confidence we have in doctors!
Doctors always aren’t cut out to be stupid in Doctor Jokes. Sometimes it’s the patients who aren’t so smart lending their flair to humor. A woman complains to a doctor that her husband thinks he is a satellite dish. The doctor says he can cure him easily but the woman says that she doesn’t want him cured rather she wants him adjusted to get the movie channel… It seems like doctors have to bear a lot while treating patients.
Psychiatry also gets tagged in Doctor Jokes with interesting phenomena awaiting you. For instance do you know the difference between a psychotic and a neurotic? Well, a psychotic thinks 5 + 5 = 12 while a neurotic knows that it is 10 but keeps getting worried about the answer.
Be sure to arrange for Doctor Jokes and wade through the waves of pleasing humor!