1. Thermos Flask
A sardar goes into a store and sees a shiny object.
He asks the clerk, 'What is that shiny object?'
The clerk replies, 'That is a thermos flask.'
The sardar then asks, 'What does it do?'
The clerk responds, 'It keeps hot things hot and it keeps cold things cold.'
The sardar says, 'I'll take it!'
The next day, he walks into work with his new thermos.
His sardar boss sees him and asks, 'What is that shiny object with you?'
He said, 'It's a thermos flask.'
The boss then says,'What does it ! do?'
He replies, 'It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold.'
The boss said, 'Wow, what do you have in it?'
The sardar replies, 'Two cups of coffee and a coke.'
2. Crocodile Boots...
A Sardarji proposes a woman. She says yes if you bring me a pair of crocodile boots.
Sardarji sets off to Africa and disappears.
Finally Sardarji was found hunting crocodiles. He was killing a huge one. He walks over the reptile, checks its legs and angrily exclaims '71st and *again* barefeet!'
3. The Sardar Policeman A Sardarji was speeding in a 35 mile per hour zone when a local police cruiser pulled him over. The police officer who walked up to the car also happened to be a Sardarji. He asked for the
Sardarji's driving license. The driver searched frantically in his bag for a while and finally said to the Sardar policeman, "What does a driver's license look like?". Irritated, the Sardar cop said,
"You dummy, it's got your picture on it!"
The Sardar driver frantically searched his bag again and found a small, rectangular mirror down at the bottom. He held it up to his face and said, "Aha! This must be my driver's license",
then handed it to the Sardar policeman. The Sardar cop looked in the mirror, handed it back to the driver and said, "You're free to go. And, if I had known you were a police officer too, we could have avoided all of this."
4. What is 10 plus 10
Once all sardars get disgusted about the large number of jokes that are cracked about them and so they come together in an auditorium to prove to the world that aren't that silly after all. They call upon one sardar and ask him, 'What is 10 plus 10?'
After thinking for some time sardarji replies, '25!'
The officials to whom they want to prove get disgusted but thousands of sardars in the auditorium start shouting, 'Give him another chance!'
So the officials ask him again, 'What is 5 plus 5?'
The sardar replies after thinking for awhile, '30!'
Again there's shouting from the audience, 'Give him another chance!'
Another question is posed, 'What is 2 plus 2?'
The sardarji replies after much thought, '4!'
Again the voice of thousands shouts, 'Give him another chance!!!!'
5. Indian Hell
An Indian dies and goes to hell. There he finds that there is a different hell for each country. He goes first to the German hell and asks "What do they do here?" He is told "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the German devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day."
The man does not like the sound of that at all, so he moves on. He checks out the USA hell as well as the Russian hell and many more. He discovers that they are all more or less the same as the German hell.
Then he comes to the Indian hell and finds that there is a very long line of people waiting to get in. Amazed he asks "What do they do here?"
He is told "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the Indian devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day."
But that is exactly the same as all the other hells - why are there so many people waiting to get in? "Because maintenance is so bad that the electric chair does not work, someone has stolen all the nails from the bed, and the devil is a former Govt servant, so he comes in, signs the register and then goes to the cafeteria."
6. Three Birds Shot Dead
In 1975, 6 birds were flying in the sky. Suddenly, 3 of them dropped dead on the ground.
Becoz Gabbar had shot 3 bullets in the air !!
7. Santa & Banta With Umbrella
Santa: Yaar Banta there is a hole in your umbrella.
Banta: I know. I purposely made it.
Santa: But Whhyyyy?
Banta: Arey Yaar, So that I know the rain is stopped.
Indian Fighter Jets
When the Indians were being delivered their new fleet of fighter jets, an instructor espically came from Russia to explain the Indian Air Force & Army the simplictiy of the operation of the planes (from Russia because India buys their planes from Russia).
So when the first plane was delivered, the instructor told the Indian Army " This has 3 buttons, the one on the top is to take off, the one on the left is to go left and the one on the right is to go right."
The soldiers nodded in understanding. But one soldier raised his hand and asked " But sir, how will we get down?"
The instuctor replied "Oh ! Leave that to the USA."
9. Train to Delhi
An Indian lady went to Railway station and asked the Station Master, "Is this my train?"
Station Master : No, it belongs to the Railway Company.
Lady: Don't try to be funny. I mean to ask if I can take this train to New Delhi.
Station Master: No Madam, I'm afraid it's too heavy.
10. James Bond meets Telugu guy
Once it so happened in a flight that, James bond was sitting besides a Telugu guy..
Both were traveling to US.
Telugu Guy : "Hello, May I know ur name please?"
James Bond : "I am Bond.. James Bond."
James Bond: "and you?"
Telugu Guy : "I am Sai... Venkata Sai... Siva Venkata Sai...Laxminarayana Siva Venkata Sai.... Srinivasula Laxminarayana Siva Venkata Sai...Rajasekhara Srinivasula Laxminarayana Siva Venkata Sai...Sitaramanjaneyula Rajasekhara Srinivasula Laxminarayana Siva Venkata Sai ...Bommiraju Sitaramanjaneyula Rajasekhara Srinivasula Laxminarayana Siva Venkata Sai.."
James Bond FAINTS.